Ask Titania: How Do I Manage My Kid’s Screen Time During the Holidays?

Dear Titania,

The holidays are fast approaching, and I’d love some advice on how to handle my son’s screen time habits when school lets out for two weeks. Between road trips, family visitors, and late nights — things can get a little hectic! I don’t want the lack of structure and routine to mean he spends all of his time watching YouTube or scrolling TikTok. Any ideas on how to keep things from turning into the wild west over here?

Signed,

Desperately Seeking Screen Time Assistance

Dear Desperately Seeking Screen Time Assistance,

The holidays are a magical time, and if you’re like me, you probably look forward to them all year long! But let’s be for real: They’re also really, really hard. 

They throw everyone’s routines straight out the window — it can feel like a mini-summer vacation but with the added stress of winter weather, inconsistent schedules, long-distance family visits or trips, and the frenzy of gift buying. Plus, as a parent, you’re probably feeling the pressure to make the holidays super special and to create lasting memories. It’s a lot.

But things don’t have to get out of hand! I’ll give you some strategies to help keep things under control and maintain some balance for these few short festive weeks. We’ll get through this!

Surround them with real-life activities 

The best way to keep kids off of screens? Give them things to do! Keep those little hands and brains busy. Thankfully, the holidays are a perfect time to do this, as everyone’s all together and (hopefully) looking forward to some quality bonding time. 

In my house, that means we’ve got Lego kits, we’ve got gingerbread houses, we’ve got board games, puzzles, crayons, bouncy balls, books, etc.  In other words, we’ve got a lot of things to do. It’s activity-central over here, and I find it not only keeps every busy, it feels…special. There aren’t many times during the year that we focus so much on doing things together in such a short time as a family. That’s what makes it so fun.

But if you're not at home or if you’re traveling to visit family, you can also stay busy with fun activities. Consider packing a boredom-buster bag that’s got travel games, coloring books, a deck of cards, fun snacks — even a disposable camera to mix things up and go old-school! 

It’s also important to note that you already have plenty of jobs, and “activity director” doesn’t need to be a full time role. It’s okay for kids to be bored and have unstructured time where they just have to figure out what to do, without screens. We did it for decades before this generation. They will figure it out and they will be more than ok because of it.

Get outside and expend some energy

Being cooped up inside on cold, dark winter days can lead to screens becoming the default activity. Make sure you mix it up! Bundle up and take a walk to see the lights, go on a holiday scavenger hunt, or break out the footballs and basketballs. Exercise is always good for kids, and they’ll also get the added bonus of better sleep when they’re tuckered out from playing outside. Educate your kids on the fact that movement is good for our bodies, our endorphin levels, and gives us a healthy boost of dopamine —as compared to the unhealthy (and temporary) spikes that screens can cause.

Set expectations and stick to them

Despite what they’ll tell you, kids want — and thrive — with structure, and the holidays are no exception. Before the holidays even begin, sit down with your kid and set some clear guidelines around screen time. A tech contract is a great way to do this, and you can get a free one here. Decide on things like:

• When screens are allowed (like before/after dinner, only after chores, etc)
• What they’re allowed to do on screens (like educational games or family movie time).
• Where they can use devices (like not during meals or in their bedrooms).

Consistency is key here. Print out your rules and stick them to the fridge. Refer to them often. This will help prevent meltdowns (hopefully). And also take a look at your own phone usage and try to lead by example. It’s hard to convince your kid to stay off their phone when you can’t get off yours. Ahem.

When it comes to guests — your house, your rules

The holidays can be a time when your kid gets to hang out with older cousins and family friends, and they may have radically different access to screens, apps, and websites. It can be very scary, especially when the young people are hanging out together over at the kid’s table. 

Be upfront about your rules and let everyone know what’s expected. For example, you might say, “We’re trying to limit screen time during the day, but we’ll have a family movie night later.” 

Consider a tech basket that kids have to place their phone when they walk in the door. This way, they’re there when they need them, but they don’t become the center piece of everyone’s attention during the get-together.

If your house is not the place where everybody is spending time and you're struggling with more relaxed rules of relatives and friends, please feel empowered to share your concerns with them and know that you have an entire group of over half a million parents ready to back you up.

Voice your concerns, but also give everyone some grace. Not everybody knows the harms of screen time and the content within apps and games. It's going to take some time before everybody's on the same page, and don’t be afraid to stand your ground when it comes to your child’s safety.

How Bark can help

Even with the best of intentions, managing screen time during the holidays can be a challenge. If things get to be too much, and your kid just has a zone-out time for a few hours after a particularly stressful visit to grandmas, that’s also okay! 

Bark is here to support you not only during the holidays, but 24/7/365. After all, parenting in the digital age isn’t simple, and managing screen time and online safety is a marathon, not a sprint. Bark’s parental controls let you set screen time schedules, block certain apps and websites, and even pause the internet to all your child’s (and those of visiting relatives) devices when it’s time to unplug. (That one is super helpful, btw). 

Plus, Bark’s monitoring tool keeps you informed about what your kid is getting into online — or with their teenage cousins on Instagram after Thanksgiving dinner. You’l get alerts for any potential issues, like inappropriate content or unsafe behavior, so you can step in if needed.

The holidays are a time for family, connection, and making memories. With a little planning and some helpful tools, you can strike the right balance between enjoying technology and keeping it in check.  No one is ever going to look back and say, “Do you remember how fun that was when we were all scrolling on our phones after Thanksgiving dinner?” Keep that in mind when there’s pushback on screen time rules while you’re pushing for more intentional IRL moments. 

Good luck, and we’re here for you.