I hate to break it to you, Mom and Dad, but your kids are probably watching you read this on your device, right now. Trust me, I get it. Work, family, school, soccer — so many things demand your attention on that tiny little screen.
But using screens in some form or fashion is the norm today. It’s just where we are in society. Like many other practices, screen time can be abused. And it’s too much screen time that’s both the cause and the symptom of a lack of connection. Specifically, human connection.
The point of this post is that you as the parent — and the teacher in life — have the opportunity to show your kid how to use screens responsibly. In this post, I’ll discuss how to deprioritize your own phone time, keep certain family times screen-free and sacred, and how to truly demonstrate balance.
Model Screen Time Behavior You’re Proud of
Look around again. How far away is your child? Odds are, they can probably see you on your phone. Again. Since we all have these mini-supercomputers in our pockets, we’re all spending fewer critical moments bonding with our loved ones. Often, when we do realize the fleeting nature of the moment, we opt to try and capture it digitally.
To model screen time behavior we’re proud of, we should try to put down our devices and spend more time living in the moment. Because when our children are young and see us scrolling instead of connecting with other humans in real life, it leaves a lasting impression.
AT&T had a great campaign designed to help reduce texting-related driving accidents called “It Can Wait.” To model responsible screen time when you’re with your family, try to put your phone on silent, turn it over, or even just turn off notifications. Also, make sure you’re not constantly grabbing your phone any time there's even a second of downtime, like at a red light or during a commercial.
Make a Commitment to Limit Screen Time
I’ve found it's super helpful to have an agreement in place that lists out for your family how, when, and where tech is going to be used. We call them tech contracts, and Bark even has a free one you can download, fill out, and stick on the fridge when you’re done.
Knowing the rules for technology helps the whole family understand the agreed-upon boundaries and guidelines for what we will and won't do with technology. They’ll also know what happens when the rules are broken, creating accountability.
Provide the Balance
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends no screen time (other than video chatting) before 18 months. Think about that. Zero. Zilch. Nada. Of course, the justification is that within this age group, screen time has been shown to negatively impact language development, sleep and attention — overall it's just not good for brain development in children.
For older children, some organizations like the American Association of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry have suggested limiting non-educational screen time for children 2–5 to one hour per weekday and three hours on the weekends.
Beyond the age of five, opinions and their corresponding numbers of hours may vary. I’d like to simply suggest a “limited” amount of screen time. I’m not going to pretend like there’s some sort of hard and fast number that correlates because one does not exist. It’s ultimately what works for you.
One of the things I tell parents about screen time is this: it’s not all created equal. Letting your child watch hour upon hour of video game streaming is definitely not the same as letting them play a short, interactive game that teaches coding.
Life is about balance — and also make sure you give yourself some grace. Some days, when life is feeling extra rough, it’s okay if your kid chills out to a screen while you make dinner.
Make Screen-Free Times at Home
Today, more and more schools are implementing technology policies that limit students from bringing personal devices like phones or connected watches into school. If this is a practice happening in classrooms, why not also the home? I suggest creating a tech basket at home and using it during meals, morning/evening routines, movie nights — you name it. Any time you want to create a routine where screens aren’t welcome.
Also, I’m talking about all tech, including mom’s and dad’s as well. This will show your child that the rules apply to everyone, and that screen-free time is important to your family. Eventually, it will become second nature, with the goal of your kids dropping in their phones before sitting down to the breakfast table.
Also, one other thing: no devices — ever — in bedrooms or bathrooms. There’s just no good reason for it.
How Bark Can Help
In a perfect world, your child will always follow the tech contract you create. But if you need a little help encouraging them to get off their phones and participate in some family bonding, I recommend Bark’s screen time scheduling feature.
With it, you can automatically make it so that apps are blocked depending on the time of day. That could look like “No social media after 5 p.m.” or “Only music apps after bedtime.” You can get super granular with it, too, so the sky’s the limit when it comes to blocking.
Bark also comes with our award-winning monitoring tool and location tracking, helping to provide unbeatable peace of mind that your child is safer online and in real life. Start your free, 7-day trial today!
Read more
Bark helps families manage and protect their children’s digital lives.
